What is my dream? I want to find that passion, that one thing I want to do, that one thing I love to do, and be one of the best at it and remembered for it. But, the problem is....I don't know what it is. I think it might be music, but I'm not sure. What if I love to do something that is obscure and something that won't get me famous? I do like the spotlight, or sharing the spotlight, or working with someone who is in the spotlight. I keep thinking that I want to be a background vocalist and keyboardist, but if it's only so that I can meet certain people, then I don't want that to be the reason. I've got to pursue my own destiny, my own passions, and my own path.

Summer :)

Summer is shooting down a water slide in the middle of the afternoon. Before you  begin your wild journey down the slide, you see many, many beach towels strewn around the grassy areas of the waterpark, and everyone is wearing a bright bathing suit, creating a rainbow of people milling around the slides. As you go down the first dip of the watery journey, your inner tube races down the slide faster than the water. Sunlight and water washes into your eyes, and glimmers of blue sky above join the swirling, rapid motion of the ride. A freeing, flying feeling bursts in your chest, and you throw your hands up to the sky and scream, partly because the slide is going so fast, and partly because you cannot contain the sunshine in your heart.

            Summer is flying across water so fast that the skis strapped to your feet glide on the surface. You hold the rope attached to the back of the speed boat with both hands and look across the water. Blue water meets the blue sky in an epic collision that spans the horizon. The boat engine roars as the driver increases the boat’s speed and turns sharply. You scream and run into the tall wake left by the boat. Losing your balance, you hit the water with a huge splash.

            Summer is walking outside at night when there’s not a cloud in the sky. Standing in the middle of your driveway, you feel a gentle, warm breeze stir. The trees around your house rustle and whisper. You raise your eyes to the sky and the air evacuates your lungs. God must have knocked over an intergalactic bottle of glitter. Stars cover the sky and look like an angel’s nightclub as they pulse and twinkle almost rhythmically. You can almost see dancing, winged beings performing a disco in time to the sparkling lights. The scene is so much bigger than you, and so refreshing, you lie down on the still-warm cement of the driveway and watch a shooting star fall gracefully into the atmosphere.

            Summer is sitting on the beach with your friends and your secret crush, secret meaning he doesn’t even know you “have a thing” for him. The sun blazes down on all of you, and everyone decides to take a dip in the cool water. The blue sky reflects in your crush’s eyes as he stops, turns to you, and smiles. When he holds out his hand to help you up, butterflies beat inside your stomach, just as real and alive as the butterflies that swirl around the colorful beach towels strewn around you. You take his hand and he lifts you up. Running to the water, you hear a Katy Perry song blast from someone’s stereo. Smiling, you dive in and the cool water stimulates your skin. Your senses are rarely this clear, but you are unaware of anything else but that fact that he hasn’t let your hand go, and you never want him to.

Perfect?

      Seems like this saying is kind of overused, but at the same time, it really helps me. "Every day is a new day." I don't know about you, but I screw up on a day-to-day basis. And, I'm not trying to put myself down, or throw a pity party, or anything like that. But, I just have those issues that plague me each day. Like, spending time social networking when I need to be doing homework or putting something off until the last possible minute, that kind of stuff. Some days I'm just plain crabby. Some days something just goes horribly wrong and I just want the day to be over. There are even days when I mess something up really bad and just want to crawl in a hole. What's awesome is I can wake up the next day to a brand new morning.
      I think that's why God made morning and night. He knew we would need that pause, that time to shut down and start again. A new day, a new chapter, an new story. A blank page we could right on. Doesn't have any mistakes.
      I need to make something crystal clear. When I bemoan the fact that I screw up, that we all screw up, even in the little things each day. I'm not trying to say that we need to live our lives perfectly, or that I even want to. I'm just saying that when those little, or big, mistakes are made, every day is new! It's fresh! It's clean! And, really, every minute that we move forward in our lives is a new minute. Every second is a new second. We choose what we do with them.
      Again, I don't sit there worrying and stressing because I "want to get this right" or I "need to do the best I possibly can with this moment." That's called a self-made prison. If I had that attitude, I would be dead by the time I was thirty, because I would be so stressed out trying to get my life perfect. I have no desire to be perfect. I know people who get so hung up on "trying to get it right." They are some of the most unhappy, stressed-out, (and yeah, I'll say it) pathetic people I know. It's sad to take it upon yourself to make your life perfect. Bad. Bad pookie. lol I think it's better to just chill out and live. But, not saying we should just do whatever we feel like doing and just not caring how life turns out. NO! Even though I don't want to be perfect, I want my life to be awesome. I want to make choices that will make me better off, because they are right. I just know perfection isn't an option. Doesn't mean you don't need to care. Doesn't mean you don't try at all.  
      I have a desire to live. Just existing doesn't cut it for me. I want to try, to explore, and to develop my abilities and knowledge. I want to conquer things in my life that aren't good for me. But, it takes time, and I'm not stressed about it. It's a good thing to move forward in who we are. We were meant to grow and become better. Just remember, we aren't meant to be perfect, so don't expect yourself to be. David Archuleta has this cool song about waking up one day and realizing you haven't changed since you were a kid. You're still doing the same things and having the same attitudes in life. You're still the same as you were years ago. And, that's not a good thing.
       So, to sum this whole thing up:
       1) Every day is new!! Fresh! We can start again with a new day.
       2) Every moment is new! Fresh!
       3)We aren't meant to be perfect, (and I, for one, wouldn't want to be)
       4)We need to chill out and just live.
       5) Move forward, grow, change. Don't stay the same.

      So, I've always kind of wanted my own blog before, but never really knew how to get one, or if I really wanted one that badly. But, after viewing Owl City's blog and Staci's blog, I knew I had to get one. :D I love writing about life in general. What I learn, what I see, and what I feel is so fun for me to write about. I love describing the things that everyone discovers, feels, and experiences in life. Music, love, and heartbreak are just the tip of the iceberg of all the things we find in life. Life itself is a beautiful thing; sometimes it's painful, and sometimes it's mind-blowingly incredible. We explore, we venture, we choose. I'm Beckah, and I write about this amazing thing called life.